It wasn’t the happiest marriage, but as their 60th anniversary approached, my sister and I decided to throw a party. Sixty years was a long time, after all; why not try to make the best of things? We'd provide the cake, the balloons, the toasts, and they’d abide by one rule: no fighting. 虽然父母的婚姻并不是最幸福的，但我们姐妹俩还是决定在他们结婚60年时举办一 个派对。毕竟，60年够长了，为什么不好好改善一下关系呢？我们为二老准备了蛋糕、气球、祝酒辞，只求他们信守一个承诺：不再吵架。
The truce was honored. We had a wonderful day. In hindsight it was an important celebration, because soon after, things began to change for my parents. As debilitating dementia settled in, their marriage was about the only thing they wouldn’t lose.
停战协定兑现了，60周年纪念日那天，大家都过得非常愉快。现在肴来，那次派对真的很重要，因为从那之后，事情开始慢慢地起了变化。老年痴呆症的各种症状在二老 身上逐渐显现出来，到后来，除了对方，他们什么都不记得了。
It began when their memories started to fade. Added to the frequent house-wide hunts for glasses and car keys were the groceries left behind on the counter, notices of bills left unpaid. Soon my parents couldn’t remember names of friends，then of their grandchildren. Finally they didn’t remember that they had grandchildren.
最开始是他们的记忆力开始衰退，不仅经常满屋子找眼镜和汽车钥匙，把买好的东西 落在收银台，而且总是忘记支付账单。很快他们连朋友和自己孙子的名字也忘了，最 后甚至不记得自己有孙子。
These crises would have at one time set them at each other’s throats，but now they acted as a team, helping each other with searches, consoling each other with “Everyone does that” or “It’s nothing; you’re just tired.” They found new roles—bolstering each other against the fear of loss. 在过去，这种危机早就让他们斗得你死我活了。可现在，他们却像团队一样紧密合作，帮对方找东西，互相安慰：“人人都健忘，”“没关系，你可能就是有点累了。”他们开始扮演新的角色帮助对方战胜失忆的恐惧。
Financial control was the next thing to go. For all of their marriage, my parents stubbornly kept separate accounts. Sharing being unthinkable，they’d devised financial arrangements so elaborate they could trigger war at any time. He, for example, was to pay for everything outside the house; she for whatever went on inside. The who-pays dilemma was so complex for one trip that they finally gave up traveling entirely.
财务管理又是另一件麻烦事，因为他们一直顽固地分管各自的财产。不可思议的是，他们共同想出了很详细的财务安排，这些安排精细到随时可能触发他俩之间的战争。
比如，父亲支付家里以外事务的账目，而母亲支付家里一切开支。谁来付费这一难题 太复杂了，以至于他们一次旅行都难以实现，最终不得不彻底放弃。
I took over the books. Now no one knew how things got paid; no one saw how the columns that spelled their fortunes compared. Next I hired a housekeeper. Cooking and cleaning, chores my mother had long complained about, were suddenly gone. Finally— on doctors’ orders—we cleared the house of alcohol, the fuel that turned more than one quarrel into a raging fire.
我接过了这项重任。从现在起他们谁也不知道账单是怎么支付的，谁也看不到他们的名下分别还有多少財产。然后我雇了个管家给他们煮饭，帮他们打扫屋子。原来母亲一直抱怨家务杂事太繁琐累人，现在也不抱怨了。最后，在医生的嘱咐下，我们将屋里所有的酒都清理掉了，因为那曾经多次将争吵升级到火冒三丈的地步。
You could say my parents‘ lives had been whittled away, that they could no longer engage in the business of living. But at the same time, something that had been buried deep was coming up and taking shape. I saw it when my father came home after a brief hospital stay.
可以说，我父母的生命慢慢衰弱了，他们甚至连生活都不能自理。但同时，一些在他 们心底埋藏很深的东西逐渐显露广出来。那还要从父亲短暂住院后出院时说起。
We’d tried to explain my father’s absence to my mother, but because of her memory, she could not keep it in her head why he had disappeared. She asked again and again where he was, and again and again we told her. And each day her anxiety grew.
我们试图向母亲解释父亲为什么没在她身边，但她记性不好，总是忘记为什么他不见 了，于是一遍遍地问我们父亲在哪儿，我们就一遍遍地回答她。她的牵挂和担忧与日俱增。
When I finally brought him home, we opened the front door to see my mother sitting on the sofa. As he stepped in to the room, she rose with a cry. I stayed back as he slowly walked toward her and she toward him. As they approached each other on legs rickety with age, her hands fluttered over his face. “Oh, there you are,” she said. “There you are.”
当我终于把父亲从医院接回家时，打开前门，看见母亲正坐在沙发上。当父亲走进屋 里时，母亲哭着站了起来。我站在原地，看着他们慢慢走向对方。当他俩摇摇晃晃走到一起时，母亲颤巍巍的手滑过父亲的脸庞，喃喃地说：“你在这儿啊，你在这儿啊……”
I don’t doubt that if my mother and father magically regained their old vigor, they’d be back fighting. But I now see that something came of all those years of shared days-J days of sitting at the same table, waking to the same sun, working and raising children together. Even the very fury they lavished on each other was a brick in this unseen creation, a structure that reveals itself increasingly as the world around them falls apart
我想，如果父母恢复了往日的活力，他们肯定会继续打架的。但现在，正是因为么多年风风雨雨一同走过：同坐在这张餐桌旁，共同迎接朝霞，一起工作，养育子女……他们之间，除了矛盾，还有别的东西。即使是两人之间互相发泄的怒火，到头来反倒成了促成他们关系稳固的砖墙。在周围世界土崩瓦解的时候，他们稳固的关系却日益显露出来。
In the early morning I once again heard the voices through the wall. “Where are we?” My father asked. “I don’t know,” my mother replied softly.
第二天淸晨，隔着墙壁，我又听到他们的声音。父亲问道：“我们在哪儿?”母亲轻声回答说：“我不知道。”
How lucky they are, I thought, to have each other. 我在想，他们多么幸运，因为他们拥有彼此。
Unit 5 Stress and Health
Stress affects everyone to some degree. In fact, approximately 67% of adults indicate that they experience “great stress” at least one day a week. Stressors, the sources of stress, come in many forms, and even positive life events can increase our stress levels. 每个人或多或少都会受到压力的影响。实际上，大约67%的成年人表示他们每周至少有一天会感到“巨大的压力”。压力的来源各种各样，就连生活中积极的事情都会让我们倍感压力。
At moderate levels, stress can motivate us to reach our goals and keep life interesting. However, when stressors are severe or chronic, our bodies may not be able to adapt successfully. Stress can compromise immune functioning, leading to a host of diseases of adaptation. In fact, stress has been linked to between 50% and 70% of all illnesses. Further, stress is associated with negative health behavior, such as alcohol and other drug use, and to psychological problems, such as depression and anxiety. Although all humans have the same physiological system for responding to stress, stress reactivity varies across individuals. In addition, the way we think about or perceive stressful situations has a significant impact on how our bodies respond. Thus，there are large individual differences in responses to stress.
适度的压力能激励我们为目标而奋斗并使我们的生活充满乐趣。然而当压力过大并持 续出现时，我们的身体或许就不能适应了。压力会危及免疫功能并导致一系列新陈代谢紊乱等病症。事实上，50%到70%的疾病都与压力有关。另外，压力也与酗酒、吸毒等不良行为以及忧郁焦虑等心理问题密切相关。虽然人类面对压力做出反应的生理 系统是相同的，但是不同的个体却有着不同的反应行为。而且我们思考和感知压力的 方式也会影响我们的身体对压力产生的反应。因此，个体对压力的反应是非常不同的。
This section will review the concepts, causes and consequences of stress. Figure 1 illustrates the many factors involved in individual reactions to stress. First, stressors, such as daily hassles and major life events, will be described. Then the physiological response to stress and impact of these effects on physical and mental health will be reviewed. Finally individual differences in physiological and cognitive responses to stress and the implications of these individual differences for health and wellness will be discussed.
这一节将回顾压力的概念，其产生的原因和后果。图1列出了影响个体对压力做出反 应的因素。首先列出的是压力的来源，比如日常口角和人生大事。然后探讨的是人们对压力做出的生理反应以及由此带来的对人身心的影响。最后讨论的则是人们对压力做出的生理反应和认知反应的个体差异以及这些差异给身心健康带来的影响。
The first step in managing stress is to recognize the causes and to be aware of the symptoms. You need to recognize the factors in your life that cause stress. Identify the things that make you feel “stressed out”. Everything from minor irritations, such as traffic jams, to major life change, such as births, deaths, or job loss, can be stressors. A stress overload of too many demands on your time can make you feel that you are no longer in control. You may feel so overwhelmed that you become depressed. Recognizing the causes and effects of stress is important for learning how to manage it.
应对压力的第一步是认清压力产生的原因和压力过大时表现出的症状。你需要知道生活中的哪些因素会使你感受到压力，并找出那些让你“倍受压力”的事物。从交通堵塞这样的恼人小事到出生、死亡或失业等重大的人生变化，每件事情都可能成为压力的来源。同时有太多事要做时，压力会让你感到力不从心，甚至极度沮丧。认清压力产生的原因和带来的结果有助于我们更好地应对压力。
Stress has a variety of sources. There are many kinds of stresses. Environmental stressors include heat, noise, overcrowding, climate, and terrain. Physiological stressors are such things as drugs, caffeine, tobacco, injury, infection or disease, and physical effort.
压力的来源多种多样，压力的种类也各不相同。环境压力源包括炎热、吵闹、熙攘的人群、气候和地势。生理压力源则包括各种药品、咖啡因、烟草、受伤、传染病或疾病，以及身体劳累。
Emotional stressors are the most frequent and important stressors. Some people refer to these as psychosocial stressors. These include life-changing events, such as a change in work hours or line of work, family illnesses, deaths of relatives or friends, and increased responsibilities. In school, pressures such as grades, term papers, and oral presentations induce stress.
最常见和最重要的是情绪压力源。一些人也将它称作社会心理压力源。它包括改变生活的各种事件，例如工作时间变更或转换行业、家人生病、亲朋好友去世以及责任增加。对学生来说，成绩、考试和课堂讲演都会带来压力。
Stressors vary in severity. Because stressors vary in magnitude and duration, many experts categorize them by severity. Major stressors create major emotional turmoil or require tremendous amounts of adjustment. This category includes personal crises (e.g. major health problems or death in the family, divorce/separation, financial problems, legal problems) and job/school-related pressures or major age-related transition (e.g. college, marriage, career, retirement). Minor stressors are generally viewed as shorter-term or less severe. This category includes events or problems such as traffic hassles peer/work relations, time pressures, and family squabbles. Major stressors can alter daily patterns of stress and impair our ability to handle the minor stressors of life, while minor stressors can accumulate and create more significant problems. It is important to be aware of both types of stressors, 压力源的严重程度也各不相同。因为压力源在强弱程度和持续时间上都有变化，所以许多专家都按照严重程度来区分它们。主要的压力源会导致大的情绪起伏，需要进行大的情绪调整。这一类的压力源包括个人危机(如：家人的重大健康问题或去世、离婚／分居、金融危机、触犯法律等)和工作／学习危机或成长过渡期的变化(如：上大学、结婚、工作、退休等)。次要的压力源往往持续时间较短或程度较弱。这一类的压力源包括如交通争执、与同龄人／同事的关系、时间压力和家庭口角等问题。主要压力源会影响我们每天的压力状况，并削弱我们应对生活中次要压力的能力，而次要压力源的积累也可能会导致一些更大的问题出现。人们必须清楚地认识这两种压力源。
Negative, ambiguous, and uncontrollable events are usually the most stressful. Although stress can come from both positive and negative events, negative ones generally cause more distress because negative stressors usually have harsher consequences and little benefit. Positive stressors, on the other hand, usually have enough benefit to make them worthwhile. For example,
although the stress of getting ready for a wedding may be tremendous, it is not as bad as the negative stress associated with losing a job. 负面、莫名其妙和不可控制的事情往往会给人带来最大的压力。虽然正面事件和负面事件都会带来压力，但是一般说来，负面事件带来的压力会更甚，因为负面压力源常常会造成更严峻的后果却不能带来一点好处。相比之下，正面压力源通常会带来足够的好处从而使承受压力变成一件值得的事。举例来说，虽然准备婚礼的压力可能会是巨大的，但再怎么也不会大到像失业那样。
Ambiguous stressors are harder to accept than are more clearly defined problems. In most cases, if the cause of a stress or problem can be identified, active measures can be taken to improve the situation. For example, if you are stressed about a project at work or school, you can use specific strategies to help you complete the task on time. Stress brought on by a relationship with friends or co-workers, on the other hand, may be harder to understand. In some cases, it is not possible to determine the primary source or cause of the problem. These situations are more problematic because fewer clear-cut solutions exist.
不明确的压力源比已清楚界定的压力源更难令人接受。大多数情况下，如果能找到产生压力的原因，人们就会积极采取措施来改善状况。比方说，如果你正因为工作或学习上的某个项目而感到压力重重，你就可能找到有针对性的方法使自己能在规定时间内完成任务。但另一方面，由朋友或同事关系带来的压力就没这么容易理解了。很多时候根本就找不到问题的主要源头或原因。这种状况下的压力更棘手，因为明确的解决办法真是少之又少。
Another factor that makes events stressful is a lack of control. Stress brought on by illness, accidents, or natural disasters fit into this category. Because little can be done to change the situation, these events leave us feeling powerless. If the stressor is something that can be dealt with more directly, efforts at minimizing the stress are likely to be effective.
无法控制局面是产生压力的另一个原因，包括疾病、意外或是属于这类事件的自然灾害。因为无法改变现状，这类事件常令我们觉得无能为力。如果能更直接地应对压力，减少压力的努力则大有可能生效。
The nature and magnitude of stressors change during the life span. Depending on your perspective, some periods in life are more stressful than others, but each phase has its own challenges and experiences. Some argue that adolescence represents the more stressful time of life. Drastic changes in a person’s body and numerous psychosocial challenges must be overcome. College provides additional mental challenges as well as financial pressures and the pressures of living independently. During the early adult years, tremendous pressures and responsibilities force you to juggle career and family obligations. Late adulthood presents still other new challenges such as coping with declining functioning or illness. Although the nature of the stressor changes, the presence of stress remains consistent. 压力的性质和严重程度的变化会伴随人的一生。一个人看问题的视角决定了他／她生命中哪些阶段压力最大，而生命的每个阶段又有着各自的经历和挑战。有人认为青春期是人的一生中压力最大的时候。这时候人必须适应身心的巨大变化。大学阶段，人又面临着心理上的其他挑战，同时也要面对经济压力和独立生活的压力。在刚成人的时候，巨大的压力和责任使你不得不兼顾事业和家庭责任。进入中老年生理机能的衰退或疾病又会带来新的挑战。虽然压力源的性质发生了变化，但压力本身都是始终存在的。
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